tort(e)

In legal professions today, we discussed the impact of lawyer advertising on society and what kinds of firms actually advertise on television. One lawyer who did attend my law school, Southwestern, is Larry H. Parker, he of “Larry H. Parker got me $1.2 million dollars” fame.

Larry H. Parker is a personal injury lawyer. He is a super-rich personal injury lawyer. In the field of law, this type of law is called “tort” law. Tort law is basically the law of negligence, duties to others and some other “civil wrongs” that may be inflicted upon people. Personal injury suits fall in this category, as does defamation, infliction of emotional distress, property damage, etc. It’s sort of funny that no one really sets out to become a personal injury lawyer – everyone here is super bent on being the next big entertainment hotshot, or some corporate bigwig. No one says, “I want to litigate on behalf of people injured in car accidents,” because that just feeds into a notion that lawyers are, as one student put in class today, “an ambulance chaser.”

Which Larry H. Parker probably is – an ambulance chaser to a certain extent. But these types of attorneys are needed in society. Most people don’t think “justice” in terms of a car accident, as “justice” always gets applied to the victims of assault, or the relatives of a murder victim, the sort of “justice” applied to CSI or Law and Order episodes. Larry H. Parker just serves another sort of justice, even if society perceives it as a less grandiose sort.

In honor of this alumni, and in honor of super horrific puns (it’s puntastic), here is my favorite recipe for a tasty brunch dish or even an easy dinner. The tort(e) can be created a day ahead of time, up to the point of baking, and then popped in the oven for an hour. Great with a side of salad or fruit.


Spinach, Ham and Turkey Tort(e)
(serves about four)

- 1 package frozen puff pastry, defrosted for about ½ hour
- ½ lb. sliced turkey breast
- ½ lb. sliced honey ham
- 1 16. oz. package of frozen spinach, defrosted
- 1 red onion, sliced thinly
- 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
- 3 red potatoes, sliced thinly (leave skins on)
- 1 egg
- 2 tbs. water

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Spray a nine-inch round pie pan (preferably glass, the type used for casseroles) with cooking spray. Place one of the puff pastries on the bottom and press into the pan. There should be about ½ an inch hanging over the edge.

3. Sprinkle the pastry with a little bit of cheese. Using about half of the potato slices, layer the potato over the cheese. Follow using half of the turkey, then half of the onion, then half of the ham, and half of the remaining cheese.

4. Squeeze any excess liquid out of the defrosted spinach, and then spread over the cheese layer. Follow with the remaining cheese, ham, onion, turkey, and potato slices, and cover with the other puff pastry sheet.

5. Crimp the sides of the pastry sheets together to form a fluted crust, and cut off any excess. Cut small vents in the pastry top (you can use shapes if you want to!) to allow excess steam to escape.

[The tort(e) can be made in advance, up to one day, at this point. Wrap in plastic tightly and refrigerate. Remove cover before baking.]

6. Beat the egg with the water in a small bowl. Using a pastry brush, gently cover the pastry top and crust with the egg wash. Place tort(e) on a baking sheet covered in foil and place in oven for about an hour until the top is golden brown and a knife can be inserted easily. [If the top starts to brown too quickly, you can cover it with foil and continue baking until done.]

Note: at one point while making this, I had some people tell me either that they didn’t like ham or couldn’t eat it, or something. It’s pretty easy to make ½ of the tort(e) with just ham or just turkey, or just pick one type of meat over another.